Top 10 Pet Peeves Of A Super Villan

 

 

10 - Can't kill Super Heros by throwing them off a building because they can fly.
9 - Your enemies have X-ray vision, so have to wear lead pants so they can't tell if you're scared or not.
8 - Miss Friday night primetime line-up to come up with a crackpot scheme.
7 - Miss Saturday morning cartoons hatching your crackpot scheme.
6 - Miss the Simpsons on Sunday while you are being tried for attempting a crackpot scheme.
5 - Being forced to listen to the hero's cornball speeches and boring banter about good and evil.
4 - When you go out to a restaurant, you always get a crappy seat because they assume that you smoke or hate sunlight and seat you away from a window.
3 - Hero always use something YOU gave them to escape and thwart your plans. A match from when you were childhood enemies. The knife you stabbed them in the back with. Etc.
2 - With as much brains as your enemy has, the best thing they can think of to say at an entrance is "Not So Fast", "I don't think so" or "Not this time". Honestly!
1 - Can't wear Amazing SpiderMan underwear anymore.

 

 

Top 10 Pet Peeves Of A Super Hero

 

10 - Villans always hatch a crackpot scheme on Saturday morning when you are trying to watch cartoons.
9 - Villans wear lead pants, blocking your X-ray vision.
8 - Villans are usually more suave than you and have a cooler stance.
7 - Villans always hurt your loved ones in a way that reminds you of your tramatic past.
6 - Clothes makers put images of you on childrens underwear.
5 - Villans taunt you with the "You can't do this" and "That would be going against what you stand for" lines right when you're about to kill them.
4 - All those big muscles make your head look small.
3 - Right when you're winning, the villan captures your ward and you have to surrender. Those sidekicks always seem to f*@k things up.
2 - All your super powers can't do a thing to fix your enormous double chin.
1 - Just don't dance anymore.

 

 

 

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